The mountain woman grinned to show her white teeth as she held up two fingers ( not in the manner of a rude gesture mind! ) and then placed two more skewers of marinaded pork and two small lengths of bamboo over the glowing red coals of her little low-level grill. Eggs and yams were clustered around the outside of the grill to keep warm with a bundle of skewered chestnuts poking up from the near corner. Mr and Mrs C Edwards and their travelling companion Mr E Fisher had squatted over the typical array of blue and red miniature plastic stools around the stove opposite the chef as she prepared the little feast.
And how satisfying the simplest of food can be... after three hours or so packed into a little mini-bus with a multitude of people we were thrilled to be booted out and stumble forth, as the blood once more pumped through our legs, over to the side of the road to eat. The skewers were so tasty, the yams sweet and warm, and once the bamboo had been broken open we had warm sticky rice to satisfy the hunger. And what a view we had... for behind our cook the mountain bank dropped away steeply giving views across the hazy green valleys and towering mountain peaks.
Several skewers were withdrawn from a plastic bag each one holding a neat row of small animal forms. Plucked! CHICKS... snatched from their mother's protective watch and subjected to perhaps the most indecent end... shorn of attire and pushed headless onto a little wooden stick!! Time to pay and go... slightly repulsed...
The scruffy old white mini-bus sat to one side on the end of the tarmac high up in the northwestern Vietnamese mountains, tourist backpacks piled up on the roof alonside bulging sacks of rice and miscellanious boxes that local mountain people were transporting along the route. Our progress had been brought to a halt as we reached the makeshift barrier put across the road as workmen prepared the rubbly road ahead for the new surface.
The barrier was pulled aside.
A yell was fired at the passengers from a certain driver!
And we were off!
Crammed into our seats once more, the steep, farmed hillsides passed the dusty windows. Miles of green banks on the twisting mountain road were caged in by an open meshwork, less than two metres off the ground made from thin branches. For what purpose I have no idea... to scare away pesky birds?! The mountains were covered in the stuff... not that Charlie noticed, for he was far too engrossed in yet another book detailing the obscenities of Vietnam warfare...
( Note the appropriate use of a fastidious Norm-the-Norm throaty and sleep-inducing voice )... "It does prove really rather fascinating to consider the possibility that there were in fact 3 mortar rounds fired, and not the previously stated 2 mortar rounds, by the American military. I would argue that..."
YAWN!
YAWWWN!
All jokes aside, it is horrific to consider what the Vietnamese people have endured over the past century. The bitter colonial French ensured that the country was left in a dreadful state when they begrudgingly threw back the keys to the hostile post-WWII Vietnam, their pride, homeland and empire in tatters. The greedy Europeans were highly successful in something at least... stealing land and shredding it of any immediate future.
Still, those dark and sinister pages of Vietnam bloodshed were not only keeping Charlie's mind off the bouncy and artery-clogging journey at hand... for they were helping him to distract himself from fruistratingly competitive conversation with the Canadian couple next to him. What a pair of losers! Place a pair of proudly courageous and daring young travellers in the midst of fellow continent bashers and what happens? They just cannot resist the temptation to boast of their exploits and feats of extraordinary wilingness to test their inner strength! My dear Charlie on the other hand is incredibly modest, loves nothing more than to communicate with others and savours the experiences he has in new cultures... especially the food!
"Did you try some of the grilled food served on the little stalls on the side of the road?" Charlie asks enquiringly as the khaki adorned Canadians ( got the look just right, complete with leather and bead bracelets, khaki caps and patterned neck scarves! ) settled back into their seats beside him... "It was absolutely delicious!"
"Oh really"
"Yes... it is amazing how such simple flavours can be so satisfying!" Charlie enthusiastically adds as he attempts to make conversation, "Although we had to draw the line when the lady cooking the food offered us skewers of little baby chicks!"
"Oh, well we ate dog in Vietnam the other day..." pause for this comment to sink in with maximum effect, "...have YOU tried dog?" answers the proud traveller.
Arrogant t*#t! No exchange of contact details that time...
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